Rumination

Goals

1. Describe rumination.
2. Avoid rumination entirely or drive it away if it comes.

What

Rumination is repetitive, sticky thinking about distressing topics that doesn’t lead to action or resolution.

It is like being stuck holding onto a hot coal that never cools off.

• Hallmarks:
  • Past- or problem-focused loops (“why did this happen,” “what if they…”), same ground, no next step.
  • Feels urgent, but produces little new information.
  • Often paired with tension in body (jaw, chest, gut) and time loss.
• Not the same as reflection or problem solving:
  • Reflection: explores, learns, then closes.
  • Problem solving: defines a controllable next step and executes it.
  • Rumination: circles without closure or action.

Why

• Costs:

  • Increases anxiety, low mood, irritability, sleep problems, and fatigue.
  • Narrows attention and blocks creative solutions.
  • Strains relationships (short fuse, disengagement).

• Benefits of stopping:

  • More bandwidth for decisions that matter.
  • Better mood regulation and recovery after setbacks.
  • Clearer priorities and faster problem solving.

How

A. Spot it fast (Name → Test → Time)

• Name it: “This is rumination, not problem solving.”
• Usefulness test: “Is this thinking producing a next step I can do now?” If no, shift.
• Time check: “How long have I been on this?” If >2–3 minutes without progress, shift.

B. 60-second reset (anytime, anywhere)

• Breath: 4 slow breaths, long exhale.
• Body: unclench jaw, drop shoulders, plant feet.
• Grounding: notice 5 things you see, 4 feel, 3 hear, 2 smell, 1 taste.
• Cue phrase: “Let go. Do the next right thing.”

C. Choose a path (Control vs. No Control)

• If controllable:
  • Define the problem in one sentence.
  • Write one smallest next action and do it now or schedule it.
  • Example: “Apologize for my tone → text: ‘I’m sorry about earlier; can we talk after 4?’”
• If not controllable:
  • Accept + defuse: “I’m having the thought that ____.” Let it be background noise.
  • Shift attention to a valued action (move body, start task, call a friend).
  • Visual: imagine the thought as a leaf floating past; don’t grab it.

D. Bound the thinking (containers)

• Worry window: schedule a 10–15 minute daily slot to write worries; outside that window, jot a keyword and return later.
• Time-box reflection: 5 minutes to extract 1 lesson and 1 action, then close the tab.
• Two-column note: Left = rumination loop; Right = action or acceptance statement.

E. Pattern breakers (when it’s sticky)

• Change context: stand, walk 2 minutes, step outdoors, drink water.
• Sensory reset: splash cool water, wash hands, stretch spine.
• Task snap: open a small, absorbing task (dishes, inbox zero for 5, tidy desk for 2).

F. Preventive habits (reduce rumination fuel)

• Sleep, movement, and meals at regular times.
• Daily 5–10 minutes of mindfulness or breath work.
• Social micro-connections (two genuine check-ins per day).
• Information diet: limit doom-scrolling; batch news once daily.
• Values focus: begin day with “Top 3” actions aligned to what matters.

G. Scripts you can use

• Label: “This is a loop. Not helpful.”
• Defusion: “I’m having the thought that ____; thanks mind.”
• Redirect: “What’s the smallest next step I can do in 2 minutes?”
• Closure: “Lesson noted → action scheduled → done.”

H. If-then plans (pre-decide your moves)

• If I notice replaying a conversation, then I will write a 2-sentence lesson and send any needed message.
• If it’s after 9 pm and my mind spins, then I will park it in my worry list and read fiction for 10 minutes.
• If I get a jolt of anger, then I will do 4 breaths, relax jaw, and move for 90 seconds.

I. Measure progress (keep it simple)

• Daily check (0–3):
  • 0 = no ruminations
  • 1 = noticed and cut within 3 minutes
  • 2 = lasted 3–15 minutes
  • 3 = longer than 15 minutes
• Aim: more 0–1 days over time, not perfection.

J. Self-talk for setbacks

• “Slipped into a loop. I noticed it—that’s progress.”
• “Letting go isn’t approval; it’s choosing my energy wisely.”
• “I can return to this at my scheduled time.”