Complaints

Goals

1. Describe complaints.
2. Communicate without complaining.
3. Respond to complaints in the best way.

Complaint (What)

Complaint ⇔ an expression of dissatisfaction about a person, thing, event, service, product, or condition, marked by negative affect, and typically without emphasis on improving or solving the problem.

Analysis (Main Ideas)

• Necessary conditions
  • There is an expression (spoken, written, or otherwise shared).
    
  • The expression communicates dissatisfaction with some target (person, thing, event, service, product, condition, etc.).
    
  • The expression conveys or implies negative affect (annoyance, frustration, disappointment, resentment, etc.).
• Sufficient condition
  • If an expression satisfies the above and it lacks (or minimizes) a constructive focus on improvement or problem-solving, then it is a complaint.

Skill with Complaints (Rationale)

1. Avoid complaining because it often frustrates or angers others, reinforces your own negative feelings, and does little or nothing to solve the underlying problem.

2. Effectively communicate dissatisfaction by being factual and constructive, rather than slipping into complaint.

3. Manage complaints from others in ways that are best for you (most rewards and fewest drawbacks holistically), respectful of others, and—when possible—guide the conversation toward solutions or provide empathy when it is appropriate.

Expression of Dissatisfaction (How To)

First, decide whether expressing dissatisfaction is worthwhile. If it will not be useful, avoid it. If it is, take these steps:

1. Figure out your message and determine who the right person (or group) is to receive it.

2. Communicate your message clearly and concisely.

   1. When appropriate, engage in constructive dialogue.
      
   2. Avoid turning the exchange into a dispute. If the other party tries to battle, don’t engage—step away instead.

Summary: Decide → Prepare → Deliver → Manage Response

Responding to a Complaint (How To)

1. Identify the cognitive and emotive content of the complainer’s message.

   • Cognitive: facts, evidence, and values.
     
   • Emotive: feelings and emotions.

2. From possible responses, select the best one:

   1. Ignore — Some complaints do not require a response.
      
   2. Empathize — Often a complainer mainly wants someone to acknowledge how they feel.
      
   3. Problem-Solve — When appropriate, address the underlying issue.

3. Prepare your response.

4. Deliver it without being drawn into a dispute.

Summary: Grok Message → Select Best Response → Prepare → Respond